Madsvibe - Mad Vibe

Again.

This time it took Kipkalya Kones and Lorna Laboso. Also his (still unnamed) bodyguard and pilot.

Rest in Peace.

Grass will grow

By Roald Dahl

The most important thing we’ve learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set –
Or better still, just don’t install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we’ve been,
We’ve watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone’s place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they’re hypnotised by it,
Until they’re absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don’t climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink –
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE! HE CANNOT THINK — HE ONLY SEES!
‘All right!’ you’ll cry. ‘All right!’ you’ll say,
‘But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!’
We’ll answer this by asking you,
‘What used the darling ones to do?
‘How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?’
Have you forgotten? Don’t you know?
We’ll say it very loud and slow:
THEY … USED … TO … READ! They’d READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching ’round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it’s Penelope.)
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle and-
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How the Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,
There’s Mr. Rate and Mr. Mole-
Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks-
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They’ll now begin to feel the need
Of having something to read.
And once they start — oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hearts. They’ll grow so keen
They’ll wonder what they’d ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.

————

My, my, this has got to be one of my best poems of all time.

As as a matter of principle and practice, I do not usually republish my pieces published elsewhere in my blog. However, I will make an exception for this particular opinion from the Daily Nation of Friday 11th April 2008. So here goes:

Like I do every Easter, I look at some of those totally bizarre, far-fetched and eccentric things that make this century. How else would you explain this: moonvertising - yaani advertising on the moon.

A beer brewer in the States, Rolling Rock is set to beam their logo on the moon over the next few full moons!

Ok, well, there you have it. In fact, their first attempt is going to be today: March 21st!

If you ask me, these guys are high on their own product. Which is why it’s kind heartening to know that we haven’t reached that level. If anything, we may be having quite the reverse! 

Happy (and sane) Easter y’all!

Now, Yours Truly has been paying a lot more attention to the radio these past few days. Of course, the sheer variety is terribly amazing and maddeningly unnerving. Have you tried scanning the dial these days and notice just how much talk there is on the airwaves these days?

The newest kids on the block Homeboyz Radio and Ghetto Radio have also been doing their thing. I absolutely loved Jeff holding it down for G Money in the morning. On the other hand, every time I switch to Ghetto, they just seem to be playing reggae all the time, and I CAN’T STAND REGGAE!

I also passed by Hot 96’s Liquid show in the jioz and there was Albert Josiah and Dj Joe going on and on about some listener who had confused the station with Easy FM. “Kama uko ndani ya Easy FM mbona unatutumia sms, fala hii? Ati that guy is confusing us with Easy FM, he is absolutely out of his mind,” AJ for you. I can almost imagine he got a call from his boss after the show.

In all this array of choice, obscenity and difference of opinion, is Kenyan radio more entertaining than say, two years ago?

The hawkers really don’t want to leave the streets of Nairobi, where they have been plying their trade ever since the elections caught up with us. Now that we have a peace deal, therefore the New Year is a few weeks late (when they were expected to be flushed out after the polls), the man who we didn’t give kazi in 2002 has some kazi to do. UK has declared and insists, it is time they moved.

The good people at Haiya! polled to find out how we feel about them:

If this is anything to go by, we are hopelessly divided as to whether we want the hawkers to leave the city centre, or to continue wading through them every time. Me, I have made up my mind, OK I just changed it just as I was about to write my decision here.

There are so many reasons for and against them! Man, my head hurts! Can we have some resolution on this, anyone?

Rules: -Link to the person that tagged you. - Post the rules on your blog. - Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself. - Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs. - Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

Man, what do I write now? Here goes:

1. I always forget (OK, procrastinate) to cut my hair until one of my buddies complains that it (including the beard) has overgrown.

2. I would never forget my phone at home. Never!

3. But I once forgot my belt. Mercifully, the jeans fit and I had a T-shirt over it.

4. I am an Internet junkie. I could literally live in it, but am still great at relationships.

5. My ‘Geek Rating‘ is just shy of half (49%)

6. I would never walk around in this monstrosity. NO, thank you very much.

Cool, now that am done, the nice part. Who gets the summons?

a. Boyfulani - dude, you knew this was coming didn’t you?

b. Eudiah - you aren’t spared sweetheart

c. Farmgal - do this to get your mind off everything

d. Joyce - what else is there besides rock?

e. Unyc - I dont care if someone already did this, I will be inspecting to make sure the post is up.

f. GG - child, and why should I spare you?

Looks to me like we are done here, or aren’t we

Listen good people, happy Valentine’s Day. And while we are there, happy everything! If you could put this on your fridge all year round, you will be covered.

Cool?

Source: The Standard online edition

Like the kind people in a certain newspaper reminded us, another ODM MP was killed within 36 hours of the murder of the first one.

Conspiracy theories aside, Rest in Peace David Kimutai Too.

By now, you should  be connvinced, like I am, that there is something terribly amiss in our democracy. OK, demo-crazy(you should be able to get at least two meanings from that corruption)

You will (rightly) accuse me of singling out the death of one MP against the background of hundreds more who have been killed in the last few weeks. I do not, I grieve for every single on of those innocent Kenyans who have had to suffer the wrath of the selfishness of our ‘leaders.’

I happened to talk to one of the late Melitus Mugabe Were Embakasi constituents who explained to me that despite belonging to a different tribe and party, she voted for him because of who he was; a down-to-earth, partriotic, loving and dedicated person. Clearly, a Kenyan in the true sense of the word.

And all those 600 or so who have been slaughtered mercilessly for the benefit of the political class, who did not represent constituencies or have degrees in Communication, who looked after their families and taught others’ children, who were proud of their Kenyan-ness, who dreamed of a future now cut short, whose only sin was speaking the ‘wrong’ language in the ‘wrong’ place, God is not mocked.

I take great exception with this unbelievable BBC online story, but if it is in fact true, just where did the rain begin to beat us? What happens to me whose best friends are all from another tribe?

Will a handshake solve our problems?

NB: A reader Ita graciously began a memories page for the late Were here. Do drop by and leave condolences etcetera. And thanks Ita.